Little Roo

It has taken me two weeks to be able to write about this.   I thought I could do this story last week but then I couldn’t.  Without fail, over all of these years, I have found writing about a loss to be helpful.  All of you reading here understand the love for a furry family member.  All of you reading here know how much I love the animals in my life.  All of you reading here have been along for the losses, and you have had your own.  When I say that I’m still having trouble writing about this one, I hope you all know me well enough by now to know that I don’t love some animals more than others.  I have loved, and continue to love, each and every animal that comes into my world.  But there have definitely been some along the way who were special.  There have been some with whom I’ve shared a special bond.  My love for all of the animals here now and for those who are long gone is the same.  But the relationships have been different.  And the bonds have been different. 

This animal was one with whom I had a special bond.  In addition, his death was tragic and senseless.  So I have really really struggled with this one.  I thought about not writing this one out.  As I said, writing has always helped me through these losses.  But this one kept me so torn up that I never could sit down at the computer and start typing.  Maybe I should keep this one in my heart is what I thought a few times.  But then, I wouldn’t want to not honor and memorialize this little guy.  He deserves this.  So I am writing, through my tears, about losing my precious Little Roo.  Going to do my best here.

You know we live in the country.   Younger Daughter and I walk our dogs on the gravel road that runs from my house, past her house, ending at Older Daughter’s home.  We start at my house with my three – Ressie, Rolly, and Roo, and then we stop by Younger’s house and her dogs join us.  The walk is about a mile from start to finish.  All of the dogs absolutely love it.  My husband keeps the grass along this entire road mowed.  And beside the mowed strips, he bushhogs so that there is about a 15-foot swath on each side of the road of short grass.  Otherwise, the tall grass of the fields would come right up to the sides of the road.  He doesn’t keep this area so tidy just for looks.  Not allowing the tall grass anywhere near the road keeps us from having to worry about snakes.

On Tuesday, May 3^rd, we started our walk.  Younger Daughter said that even though her dogs would be sad, she wasn’t going to take them that day because she had just released some baby bunnies near her blackberry bushes and she was afraid her dogs might run over and sniff one out.  As we started our walk back, suddenly Little Roo screamed.  I jerked my head around and saw one of the biggest copperheads I’d ever seen in my life.  It was coiled right on the edge of the road.  I remember screaming at Younger Daughter that Roo had been bitten by a copperhead and then the rest is somewhat of a blur.  I know that Younger Daughter charged into action.  She grabbed Roo and started running to her house.  I was running behind her and Ressie and Rolly were running with me.  She screamed at her husband to throw her the keys and to get my other two dogs.  Then we were in their truck racing towards town.  I called Older Daughter at work and told her to get Dr. B ready for us.  Younger Daughter put her flashers on and we made the 30-minute trip in less than 20.  Little Roo collapsed against me on the trip in. He lost control of his bowels.  I knew I was losing him.  Older was already there when we arrived. We ran into the clinic and Dr. B started an IV and gave pain medication and an antibiotic shot.  And then Older started educating me on venomous snake bites in dogs.  Small veterinary clinics don’t keep anti-venom because of the enormous cost.  Most dogs survive a copperhead bite with supportive care.  But Little Roo was only 6 pounds.  This was a huge factor.  The rest of this story just gets worse and worse.  Because about an hour after we arrived, Roo had stabilized SO much that we were told we could go home.  I said I’d go home and get some work done and get a shower and then be back.  Older would stay in touch with Dr. B and keep me updated.

Younger and I didn’t actually even leave town for another hour.  We sat in the shelter parking lot waiting for the first update because I was afraid to head home and be half an hour away and then find out something bad was happening.  Got the first update that he was staying stable.   Younger Daughter drove us home.  (Oh, how I wish I hadn’t.)   Older kept me informed.  He was remaining stable.  And then just as I was walking out the door to head back to town, Older called me.  He was crashing.  Dr. B had found a clinic in the other direction that had anti-venom on hand.  We wouldn’t be able to get Roo and get there in less than 2 hours.  Older met us on the road and handed over Roo.  He was already basically unconscious.  We put our flashers on and started driving as fast as possible.  But about a half hour into the trip, Little Roo died in my arms.

We’ve walked that road several times a week for years and years and years.  We keep the sides of the road mowed down JUST SO that we won’t encounter a snake.  I had three dogs with me – two 25-lb dogs which would most likely have survived this bite . . .   and one 6-lb dog.  How is it that the snake was sitting at the edge of the road where there was absolutely no grass to hide in, and that the one dog who couldn’t survive it was the one who was bitten.  I cannot make sense of it. 

Little Roo was kind of like a child to me.  He was needy.  He wanted to be picked up and carried a lot.  He was afraid of storms.  He loved tiny tennis balls and we had to play ball EVERY day when I would sit down to have tea.  He slept against me every single night.

Besides losing a baby who had been SO much a part of my every single day, I lost him in one of the most senseless ways I can imagine.   I know time heals, but I don’t believe I will ever smooth over the scar that this one has left on my heart.

 

Rolly, Ressie, and Little Roo

Little Roo – Farewell.

 

Comments

[The Poupounette Gang]

I am so, so very sorry to read about Roo, Chrystal. That is indeed so tragic and your pain radiates out of every word. Safe journey, little Roo.

[Kara]

How heartbreaking. I am just so very sorry.

[Pam]

My heart hurts for you, my friend 💔

[Andrea and the Celestial Kitties]

Oh Chrystal! I cannot imagine.. I am so so so sorry and I wish I could hug you tightly right now, even though I know it wouldnt help. My heart is breaking for you. Senseless is the right word, I'm so sorry.

[John Bellen]

What a terrible, terrible thing to happen. I can think only that the circumstances were such that this was how it was meant to be; for whatever reason, God needed to take Roo at that time. It doesn't help your anguish; even if you knew all the answers, it wouldn't help, because of how much Roo meant to you. There is no salve for such loss. Godspeed, Little Roo.

[Mary McNeil]

We are so so sorry to read this ! We can only send prayers for you and his brothers as you struggle to accept this and recall the good memories of the times together.

[Prudi]

Crystal, I am so deeply sorry about Roo. Dealing with such a loss, so unexpected, is much the worst of what we have to deal with when loving our animals so much. Safe passage, Roo.

[Ellen J Pilch]

I am so sorry. That is truly tragic. XO

[Ellen J Pilch]

I am so sorry. That is truly tragic. XO

[Ginny & the Fur Family]

My heart breaks for you and the loss of little Roo. His life meant so much to you and his dogie friends. Not - even time can take away the pain but remember- LOVE IS FOREVER. EVEN AFTER DEATH. The heart never forgets a great love. Remember the good times and he is still alive in your heart. Prayers for you dear Chrystal.

[Maria in FL]

I cried when I read this post. Poor Little Roo. Chrystal, I feel your pain deeply and understand your heartbreak. You did all you could for Roo, as you do for all the fur babies in your care. I am sending love and my deepest sympathy your way.

[meowmeowmans]

This is just heartbreaking, Chrystal. We are so very sorry.

[Myra Wood Bennett]

Oh Chrystal, I am so very sorry for you, both daughters, the other doggies and dear Roo. This is simply traumatic! He was such a dear little sweetie as seen in his picture. Although you are still in trauma over the event and his loss, I hope in time you will begin to feel some sense of peace in comparison to the peace that Roo felt in his final moments being held in love in the embrace of your arms. This is simply horrible for you all but with that said, Roo for being so little, lived large in your love and care.

[Goldie Goodwin]

No words! I'm so sorry. Sending prayers to you for comfort