Rocky

I wrote this about Rocky in December:  

Several months ago, Rocky started having trouble using one of his back legs.  This was followed by trouble with the other back leg.  He had to move to my kennel where there are no steps.   His condition has progressed and I now carry him out to the kennel side yard and back in again.  He’s such a champ – never grumbles, never fights me.  He just lets me hoist him up, take him outside, and hold him in place while he “does his business.”  He has a huge orthopedic bed in his run, a raised feeder/waterer to make it easier to eat and drink, and an outside run that he is slowly losing the ability to get to.  I keep a blanket wrapped around his bed (that can be changed out) because he is incontinent part of the time now.  But he’s still happy.  He loves to be talked to and petted.  He loves to eat his senior food and he even loves his medications because they are in tasty pill pockets.  And his favorite thing of all is a new bone.  So he’s been getting one quite regularly these days.  I have no idea how much longer I’ll have Rocky around.  But I’m going to make him as comfortable and as happy as I can for however long that is.

That was in December.  He made it another three months.

I probably should have assisted Rocky to The Bridge before now.  Over the last three months, he has progressively deteriorated.  About a month ago, Rocky became unable to hold himself up long enough to finish a meal.  As I said above, he had a raised feeder/waterer.  But in the last few weeks he could not stay up on all fours long enough to finish eating.  I would re-position him at least a couple of times to get him through a meal.  He also completely lost the ability to take himself into his outside run.   For about the last week of his life, the only thing he could do without help was to lie on his big bed.  I kept feeling guilty for not making the decision to let Rocky go.  But this was different from how so many of our animals have gone.   It has usually been the case that old age brought organ failure.  It’s easy to know it’s time when an organ fails.  You can look at the animal and KNOW he or she is suffering.  A blood test confirms organ failure.  But with Rocky, there was no sudden turn into suffering.  He had virtually no quality of life, but he was not struggling to breathe or crying out in pain.

Until last Wednesday.

For at least the last two months, I hoped and hoped that I would know when it was time.  I wanted a concrete sign.   In hindsight, I should have let him go sometime in the previous two weeks.  But on Wednesday morning, I got my definitive sign.  I posted to my blog that morning and headed down to my kennel and cathouse to start the day.  When I opened the front door to the kennel, I could hear Rocky whining.  I raced over to his run and my heart broke.  He had scooted around on his giant orthopedic bed and managed to end up over by the opening to the outside run.  His back end had slipped off the bed and pushed through the flap and onto the concrete.  I pulled him inside and onto the middle of his bed.  How long had he been like that?  Ten minutes?  An hour?  ALL NIGHT? 

I sat with Rocky on Wednesday morning for a very long time.  I petted him and massaged his muscles (which I did every day).  I’d wanted a sign.  This wasn’t a senior who was going to suddenly fail due to organs giving out.  For months I’d worried about Rocky’s quality of life.  Then for almost two weeks I’d known that his life, though without great suffering, was little more than an existence.  The fact that he could now not even drag his own body out of an extremely uncomfortable position was enough.   It was the sign I’d needed.  I told Rocky I wouldn’t let him stay in that broken down body any longer. 

When one of our furry family members fails acutely and euthanasia takes them out of extreme pain and suffering, there is relief mixed with the grief.  You know you’ve done the right thing when you offer your precious loved one a way out of suffering.   It’s still awful.  This will never be an easy thing for any of us.  But when that furry family member needs to move on, and you have to make the decision based on quality of life vs. mere existence, it’s hard.  To assist them out of suffering is something we KNOW we must do.  To pick a day when “existence” is no longer enough is really really tough. 

Rocky was 15 years old.

 

Rocky – Farewell.

 

Comments

[Ginny& the Fur Family]

YOU DID THE RIGHT THING FOR DEAR ROCY. Our heart goes out to you. It is so hard. To let their spirit run free it the hardest thing we ever have to do but we do it- knowing they are at last pain free. We here say good by to dear Rocky. We feel your pain. You will see him again some day in the here after. God Bless the soul of Rocky

[Liz Garcia]

Sorry you had to make the decision. It's always hard, but you cared for him in such a loving way. So sorry..

[Random Felines]

I'm so sorry.....there is never an easy answer and never a "good" time. We do the best we can with the information we have.

[Cassandra]

I'm sorry, Crystal. You're right- it is always a hard thing to do, even if we know it is for the best. Sending hugs.

[Annabelle]

I am so sorry Chrystal about Rocky. That decision no matter when we have to make it is not easy, and we have to do it when we know it in our hearts. You did all you could to give Rocky a comfortable life and take care of all of his needs, and ultimately you gave him his peace and released him from his broken body. Keeping you in my prayers.

[John Bellen]

While Rocky had only an existence to us, I suspect it was different for him. A loyal and loving dog doesn’t think as we do. To him, seeing you, seeing his family, every day, was life. Having you massage his muscles, help him eat, help him go outside, simply be with him, that was life. And to Rocky, it was a glorious life indeed, right until his last breath. It was life because he loved, and was loved. Godspeed, Rocky.

[Cynthia]

So sorry for your loss of Rocky. I have no doubt he is smiling in doggie heaven & thinking of the wonderful life he had with you & your family.

[Maria in FL]

Chrystal, I am so sorry for your loss! You absolutely did the right thing at the right time. Sometimes it is not easy to know what the exact right time is, but when there are concrete signs it makes the decision so much easier. Keeping our beloved fur babies alive past their time is for us, not for them. The unselfish thing to do, as hard as it is, is to let them go when they are suffering. What a lucky dog Rocky was, to live as a member of the Parker family! Safe travels to the Bridge, dear Rocky.

[Andrea and the Celestial Kitties]

Oh Chrystal, I'm so sorry. It sounds like it was hard to pin down a time, and I think that's ok. You knew when you got your sign and that's good. You gave him a good life, even when life was failing him. Hugs and love and I'm sorry for your loss. I know you loved him as you love all of your darling critters and I know it breaks your heart every time you have to say goodbye. And I'm so very sorry you've been having to say it so often!

[GD]

My heart breaks for you. I am sorry you lost your beloved pup. My last cat that I had to assist was that way. She, like most old cats, end up with renal failure. For the last year I had her, I syringe fed her. She would not eat on her own. She was not in pain and could jump up on the furniture if she wanted to. No matter how much I fed her, she kept losing weight. It got to the point she was skin and bones....but doing ok-ish. Still not eating on her own, sleeping a lot and peeing more than she should. I did not realize this until a month prior to my decision as I have multiple cats. I brought her on a trip with me (as I have to feed her) and she was the only one using the cat box. 6 pees in 24 hours. That is a lot. Anyway - to make that decision, when they are not in pain, is the hardest decision ever. I still feel guilty even though everyone else tells me that I should have done it sooner and no one else would have syringe fed (force fed) her for year. I don't know....I rescued her and loved her very much. Every other pet it was incredibly clear...this one was incredibly difficult.

[The Poupounette Gang]

You are right, Chystal. It can never be easy. Making "the decision", saying goodbye, moving on. What is easy is loving them to pieces every single day they share with us.

[Cat's Cats]

I am so sorry to hear about sweet Rocky!

[Karen Lucas]

Oh, Rocky dearest, you were such a dear dear friend to Chrystal and her family and she will miss you until you meet again. Such a beautiful soul and now peace has come to you as it will to all of us who are missing you and grieving with your mom.