Heartbreak

I don't even know how to start this post.  I'm trying to type through floods of tears.  It's 2am.  Winnie just left for The Bridge. 

About 4:45pm yesterday, she had a seizure.  My daughter immediately took her temperature and it was 105.1.  Just one hour earlier, she had eaten a small meal and was purring.  We raced off to an emergency vet visit.  She was given an injection for the fever and a stronger antibiotic.  Since my daughter can give subQ fluids, the vet sent us home with enough for 12cc twice a day to prevent dehydration.  We came home hopeful.  But Winnie got more and more lethargic.  She had what we think was a series of mini seizures. 

From the moment of the first seizure in the late afternoon, somebody held Winnie every minute.  She was never alone.  We took turns holding her.  I took her at about 11pm and I was sitting in the recliner with her just now when she died.  It feels like my heart will break.  This never gets any easier!!  I want to scream.  

I'm sure I wouldn't be writing this if it wasn't for the unbelievable outpouring of support from all of you who read Winnie's story.  I'm sick, and the tears keep pouring, but somehow knowing all of you cared about little Winnie even though you didn't know her brings me some comfort.

I knew this could happen.  I've been doing this for too many years.  But every time, I want to believe this tiny baby that never had a chance will somehow pull through and end up being loved for a lifetime.  All Winnie got was one day.

I can't post a picture of her right now.  She deserves to be admired and remembered.  I can't believe I could be so in love with something I met less than two days ago.  She had a gravelly little meow and she purred constantly.  She didn't like the lights off and she wanted to be with a person continuously.  She was a little individual - a precious little soul.  An angel.

I wish for all of you who are checking in to see how Winnie is doing that I could have given you good news.  I know this will dampen spirits.  I wish I only had happy endings to share.  What I do want to say is how much I appreciate you stopping in and reading Winnie's story.  Thank you Amy and The House of Cats for directing all of these wonderful, caring people to my blog.  The way the rescue happened was practically a miracle.  Unfortunately, it was not to be for Winnie to stick around.  A piece of my heart goes with each little one I lose.  Winnie took a big chunk.

In less than four hours, I will be loading the six puppies into a crate in my friend's car to be taken to where they will meet their transportation to a no-kill shelter up north.  Every time I foster, it's hard to let them go.  But I know this is their shot at getting forever homes.  I'm afraid (today) saying goodbye to them is going to be even harder.

Winnie - Farewell.

 

Comments

[jansfunnyfarm]

Oh, we are so sorry you lost Winnie. You did all you could and even though she only had one day, she was loved and cuddled until she left for the bridge. We know how it breaks a heart to lose a furry. Purrs and tail wags.

[The Island Cats]

We just heard about sweet Winnie. We are so sorry that she has gone to the Bridge. At least in her short time with you, she knew love. We send you comforting purrs....

Wally, Ernie & Zoey

[Abby]

The tears are streaming down my face at Winnie going off to the Bridge. My heart breaks for another small tiny soul to have left us all way too soon. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers and we thank you for all that you did in your valiant attempt to save Winnie.

Abby's Mom Debra

[cats of wildcat woods]

You were where you were meant to be for her - sometimes all we can do is offer our love. With deep sadness and sympathy.

[Charlemagne and Tamar]

We're so very sorry to hear that poor little Winnie went to the Bridge. She knew love and happiness during her very short time with you. We're sending purrs of comfort during this heartbreaking time. Thank you for making her feel loved and happy and for staying with her through it all.

Charlemagne and Tamar

[Tjwarden]

Oh how sad. At least take comfort that you gave Winnie a chance she wouldn't have otherwise had. Her last day was spent in safety and snuggles, not in fear or loneliness. And that's good.

[Ginny&the Fur Family]

A few hours have passed and everyone came by to give prayers for Winnie - how sweet that is and would like to know if the puppies went on today to the place they were to go. I do hope they all have a chance for a loving home. I enjoyed looking at them, especially Marianne, if I had a better place in the country I would have loved to have one of them but I have the limit for my town home and little yard. I dream like you of homes for all furry ones. I know as cute as they are someone will take them one or two at a time. - hugs and good wishes to you.

[The Creek Cats]

We are heartbroken for you. Bless you for loving and caring for Winnie and being with her if only for a short time. She knew she was loved and without you, she would have never known how that felt. We are sending you our best comforting purrs and love.
(((hugs)))

[Noll]

I am so sorry to hear that Winnie lost her fight. Thank you for caring. For letting her know love. Purrs to you and yours.

[Siku Marie]

We are sorry Winnie never had a chance to know what a wonderful and amazing world this is...but we are SO very glad that in your arms and those of everyone in your family that tiny girl DID get to know the absolute joy of beig loved unconditionally! Find comfort in what you gave that precious kitten in her final days...dignity...a name...security...and peace. It is never easier but it IS worth the heartbreak...you are heroes!

[TK N Squashies]

We are sad for your loss. But Winnie was very lucky to spend her last with such a loving fambily. We purrs that your pain will ease.

[Nico, Simon & JayJay]

Poor little Winnie, at least she didn't die scared and alone. You gave her comfort and love - the most wonderful things in the world. As much as I am crying that she didn't make it, I am very happy that you shared her story. It takes a strong, compassionate person to take in an animal in need - there is always a risk that things won't work out. To go ahead and try anyway shows what an incredible person Winnie spent her last hours with.

Thank you for all that you do,
Cory (Nico, Simon & JayJay)

[Fraidy Cats]

We read about little Winnie from Amy's House of Cats. So sorry for your loss. We wanted to offer our purrs and prayers of comfort.

-Pip, Smidgen, Minnie, and mom Cara

[Sweet Praline]

Special thoughts of you as you mourn the loss of Winnie.

[Shirley Gantt]

we are saddened to hear that winnie went to the bridge. you gave her a chance to experience a full belly, a warm bed and love. although she didn't stay long, she left knowing what many cats/dogs never get a chance to experience. so in a way she was fortunate. please continue rescuing those less fortunate cats/dogs and give them a chance at experiencing what every pet deserves. we will be praying for your heart to be comforted.

[Cory]

We were so hoping that little Winnie would make it. Purrs.

Cory and family

[Everycat]

Thank you for helping little Winnie and ensuring that she spent her short time on earth surrounded by love and care. What you did was so important and not every human would do what you did. Fly free at The Bridge little Winnie, you were one very special little kitten.

Love and rumbly purrs

Whicky Wuudler

[Hannah & Lucy]

We are sorry to hear that little Winnie has gone to the Bridge. Thank you so much for caring for her and trying hard to give her a chance to live and for being with her at the start of her journey to a better place.
Luv from Hannah, Lucy and Mum Sue xx xx xx

[brandi at Catitude]

I can't imagine a sweeter way to leave for the Rainbow Bridge than to be held and loved. Our hearts go out to you all.

[Will & Cloe]

We are very sorry for your loss, Cloe & I. Cloe is a 4 week old kitten who entered my life a week ago. I love Cloe very much already & her I. It would hurt me like it does you if I were to loose her. Winnie's spirit lives on & through many souls to include ours.

[ihavecat]

I am crying right now reading this...i am clearly behind the eightball here.....i just read about you finding her and was so full of hope and joy. I feel like the bottom was just pulled out from under me! I'm so so sorry for your loss but you can be happy knowing that this sweet baby knew love and compassion before leaving this world.
Precious little soul is the perfect sentiment.
xo
T

[Neala's Mom]

I am so very sad about the loss of Winnie... I really thought she would pull through from your first post- but I guess she had things to do at the Bridge.

[Neala's Mom]

You write of wanting to give a happy ending and I know, through Neala's story, her life and her loss, how much you truly wanted that. I was in your shoes on the 1st of July. It's such a hard feeling and I really am glad you can feel the support and love everyone is sending.