Outrage

Late Saturday night I wrote this:

I am writing this post on Saturday night while still reeling from loss and anger.  You may not want to read this story.  It is sad.  Very sad.  I tell it because it is true, because it happened, because it is reality.  Right now my sadness is second only to my rage.  A tiny little bitty puppy came into my life tonight.

I wrote out what turned into an extremely angry rant which does absolutely no good whatsoever.  I have now had 30 hours to calm down.  I am going to tell little Donald’s story because it needs to be told.  He deserves that much.  But I am going to try to tell it in a way that honors him because of how precious he was.  This does not mean that I am not still angry.  I am.  In fact, I am outraged.  But since Saturday night I have had time to think.  And Donald has re-taught me one of the things I am striving to learn in this life - that I cannot change other people; I can only work harder at being the kind of person *I* want to be.

Let me warn you.  You might not want to read this story.  It is hard to take and it did NOT turn out like I so desperately wanted it to.  


Older Daughter was at work on Saturday morning when a police officer came in carrying a tiny limp body.  He told her he’d found the little thing on his rounds and that it was still alive.  Older Daughter took the puppy as the officer explained.  He was walking in an area and thought he heard a very faint whining or groaning noise.  When he started to investigate, he realized that the almost inaudible noise was coming from a heap of garbage.  He started pushing the garbage away and underneath the pile of trash was the tiniest puppy he’d ever seen.  He knew it was alive because he had heard it, but that was the only indication.  It was not moving.  He had to look very close to see breathing.  He looked around for any sign of more, then scooped up the baby and headed to the shelter.

Older Daughter immediately kicked into action.  She started with syrup - rubbing it on the puppy’s gums.  An employee registered the puppy and gave him a name - Donald.  Older Daughter worked with the puppy off and on all day.  He was given subcutaneous fluids.  At one point in the late afternoon, he actually swallowed a tiny little bit of porridge-consistency canned food.  It was shortly after that when Donald tried to lift his head.  It was the first time Older Daughter felt any hope.  Of course, she brought him home from work and straight to my house.  Younger Daughter came over, too, and the three of us took turns holding Donald while the other two went off to get things done that had to be done.  We were all shocked at the body condition, but it was worse than that.  Donald hadn’t responded even one more time the rest of the afternoon.  He wasn’t responding now.  At one point, the three of us converged in the bathroom.  We discussed this baby’s condition.


His body was severely emaciated.  His limbs were cold.  The back legs were pulled up and stiff.  We were keeping him on a heating pad, wrapped with soft warm cloth and up against our bodies.  We did everything we knew to do and everything the vet had suggested.  Sugar water, which is what brought our little comatose Gabriel back from the dead, did not work.  Rubbing syrup on the gums did not work.  We tried warm formula.  There was no swallow reflex.  Older Daughter did stimulating massage to try to keep circulation going.  At one point in the evening, for almost five full minutes, Donald opened his eyes.  He looked at us, and even followed our movement with his eyes.  He continued to be too weak to move, but I allowed myself some hope when I saw some recognition in those eyes.  That hope was short-lived.


We were all quietly sure that Donald would not make it.  Help had come too late.  So we never put him down.  During the times that he was in my arms, I told him over and over that I loved him and that I was so sorry that this was all Life had shown him.  I told him that if he would just stay with us we would show him love.  I did what I always do in these situations - I quietly begged him to stay.  I kissed him over and over on his tiny little forehead and stroked his tiny emaciated body with one finger.  We held him until he died Saturday night at 9:30pm.     

I cannot imagine what kind of person could throw this baby away like so much garbage.  How long had he been there?  He was alive when someone threw him out.  Our daytime temperatures have hovered near 100 degrees.  If only help had come sooner.  When the girls went home and Husband went to bed, I sat in the dark and railed against a world filled with so much cruelty.  I thought about what I could do to the person who did this.  I thought about all of the pain and suffering I’ve seen in the innocent lives of so many puppies and kittens, dogs and cats.  I got angrier and angrier.  So I got on the computer and started writing.  Well, that is the post I chose NOT to publish today.  

It will not EVER matter what I think of people who do these kinds of things.  It will not ever matter if I hate them, or want to hurt them, or wish that Karma will rain down on them.  I will not EVER change any other person with my fists, or my words, or my desire.  Truly, all I can do is be the best person *I* can be.  Gandhi said to Be the change you wish to see in the world.  I cannot make people stop being horrible.  I cannot make people be compassionate towards animals.  I can only do what I can do to offer these sweet furry creatures the love they deserve.  When I am knocked to my knees by the needless suffering of an animal at the hands of a human being, I have to strive even harder to be the opposite of that monster.  I want ALL human beings to care about each other and about the creatures that can’t care for themselves.  But wishing it, or even demanding it, from another human being will not make it so.  I will have to be the change I wish to see.  

Little Donald, for you and all who suffer as you did, may there one day be more people in the world fighting for you than there are people causing your pain.



Little tiny Donald - Farewell.

Comments

[Jan (Milo and Alfie's mom)]

I am lost for words and heartbroken and outraged too. RIP beautiful innocent sweet boy.
May karma give what is given out in spades.

[Connie]

beautiful post, and a moving tribute to Donald.

[Bellen]

What a terrible thing to happen to that little puppy. The rear part of his body looks shrunken. God will attend to all of us, good and bad, when the time comes. There's no hiding from that justice. It's good that Donald didn't die alone and unmourned. That's something.

[Khyra and Her Mom]

Those of us involved in rescue have to remind ourselves sooo many times, we can't save them all but we can make a difference for those we can help

Even if it sadly means we can't save them , we can make their end have some dignity...the dignity denied them by unhumans in their lives

I have no doubts that Donald has a special spot at The Rainbow Bridge...and he has met up with the others you and your family have been the difference to and for (sorry grammar police)

Today around The Blogosphere we are uniting to share the cause of Dog Rescue...and all the multitude of things associated with it

You are a role model for those wanting to get on this roller coaster ride

THANKS FOR DOING WHAT YOU DO

Karma rocks!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra and Phyll

[Random Felines]

I am so very sorry. But it is so important that the last thing he knew was warmth and love - not laying in trash struggling. The only thing I regret with Amaretto was that I wasn't there at the end. Donald may have been here only a short time, but he is another reminder of why we do what we do, why we get angry and keep going - because of that one (or two or five - LOL) life that NEEDS US!!! My heart breaks for all of you, but I am glad you were there for him.

[Abby]

I share your outrage over the coarse uncaring demented dare I say, person who threw this sweet baby out like trash. That said, Donald was shown love, compassion and human care by you and your daughters. In the end he knew the truth, not all humans are evil and cruel. There is no comprehending, there simply is. Thank you Chrystal for trying to do the impossible. Bless you and your daughters.
Abby

[Fuzzy Tales]

(((Chrystal)))

I don't even have words to express how I feel about this little one's callous and inhumane treatment at the hands of this unknown....person, or about the boundless love and compassion you and your family showed to him (and have shown to all your rescues).

We all wish life was fair, but it's not and never will be. Some cling to the thought that we'll all pay for our "sins" in an afterlife, but I think that's a human construct.

All I can do is hope that the person who left Donald reaps what he (or she) has sown, in *this* lifetime, not in some possibly imaginary life beyond.

And I hope little Donald's spirit is at peace.

Bless you.

[Sweet Purrfections]

I don't have the words either. Only tears. At least Donald experienced love those last moments of his life.

[Kat & the Teenage Mutant Ninja Kitty Horde]

I share your anger. But I'm so glad you and your family were there for him. If nothing else, in his last hours, Donald knew love. He knew warmth and comfort and caring. He knew the generosity of spirit that you share with all those frail souls and tender lives that have crossed your path. Be at ease. For even though you can not make those who are hard of heart stop their cruelty, you *can* make the lives of those you save happy and full of love, no matter how long they may be. There's a reason you are one of my heroes.

[Goldie Goodwin]

Many of God's little helpless creatures who stay only a short time on earth seem to make their way to you. What a heartbreaking story. Others might have chosen to just euthanize and move one. You chose to give love in abundance and try to save little Donald. Sadly, that was not to be. Long shots, hopeless cases, difficult circumstances - That doesn't ever stop you from trying. A truly loving gift. You gave him the ultimate gift at the end - care and love.

[Julie]

So sad! Sweet dreams, Donald.

[Ginny & The F'ur Family]

Little Donald knew moments of love and kisses before he went on over to the other side. Bless his innocent soul and spirit. Bless you and your daughters for being there to give him the only love he had ever known. I can not think of a hell fire hot enough for the person who put him in that trash heap. I wish them to be placed in a trash b ag out in the boiling hot sun and left there all day. Justice I do say. I do hope he was the only one and not a whole litter. That would be even worse - I am crying and hating that person with my whole being. No one should breath being that mean.
Thank you Chrystal for telling his story and maybe it will point out to others how much can and needs to be dong for the furries. We will all unite and never rest until we stamp out that kind of cruelty in this world. No one needs to suffer like baby boy Donald. We will remember him with love and prayers as he is now with out pain and suffering. I do wish he could have stayed here with us and have a good loving home. If only someone had heard him in time. At least the officer brought him to the right place to feel kisses and hugs before he went over. Prayers for Donald... Ginny & The Fur Family

[The Poupountte]

Oh Chrystal!~ The world is full of people who do unspeakably awful things for whatever reason. All those idiots who thing that, as humans, we are superior to animals. Hah! Poor little Donald who was yet another innocent victim of cruelty and stupidity. But... he was found and picked up and loved and died held in loving arms. For that, we are grateful.

[Andrea and the Celestial Kitties]

Bless that police officer for digging through the trash and not just walking by! Bless your daughter for treating not just giving up and putting him to sleep immediately, but for giving him a chance. Bless you and both daughters for spending your day and evening trying to save him, comforting him, showing him the love he deserved. And hugs to you all because it didn't work.

There are some animals that can still be helped. By giving them forever homes. Room needs to be made in the cat house. Please help find homes. Please help with the costs involved. Please do what you can to help the animals that Chrystal helps.

Please, also, dont forget to buy her book and if you will, please go back to that post about sending emails or letters to celebrities who might plug the book if they know about it and read it. Word needs to be spread!

[Cherry City Kitties]

Thank you for sharing this tragic story... me and the Daddy have decided that the only thing we can change is ourselves, it's the only dynamic we can change. But big ripples can form in a pond, and they all start with that first drop. So your efforts did not go in vain and your anger is not misplaced.
Know that if nothing else, we believe that Donalds tiny little soul left this world knowing that love exists.

[Emily]

Thank you for being the kind of person who at least TRIED to save him. I am not currently in a living situation where I can do rescue work, but as soon as I am, you betcha. So sorry you had to go through that, but again, thank you for trying and thank you for sharing. People need to know that this kind of thing happens, every goddamn day.

[LP]

I'm sorry Donald didn't make it Chrystal. It rips me open to think how he ended up there and what he most certainly went through. Drops me to my knees.These acts of depravity always will. I'm glad through a series of kindness by a few he ended up with you.I'm glad he died in dignity , instead of amongst trash.Rest in peace sweet Donald.You were a victim of someone's madness but you left knowing love.

Hugs and much love and more hugs to you and your daughters, Chrystal.

Sophie and the critters in the cottage xo

[Ginny & The F'ur Family]

What can be done to people who throw away kittens and puppies? Where are the laws to go after people with no concience? How can a person lay down and sleep after throwing a poor little defenseless creature like little Donald in a trash heap? These are the questions I ask my self all day yesterday and last night and today and will keep asking myself forever. What God do these people have if any? My God does not sanction such awfull things done to little helpless ones like that little puppy. We must all keep up the good fight and go onward and upward and never look back when it comes to trying to save just one more. The Good will prevail. Donate to Chrystal and all the other no kill shelters like project Hope and all the others even if it is a dollar. Dollars mount up and vet Bills and food is high priced today. So hot today keep all animals inside if possible and fresh water and shade and an out door fan if inside is not possible or even a wadeing pool helps... Ginny The Fur Family