Daphne Has Gone to the Bridge

 

Last week I was determined to report good things to you.  Over the New Year’s weekend, Daphne went downhill rapidly.  Luckily, I had already written some of the posts for last week because there had been so much going on.  Everything was going REALLY well with the dogs and the kitty adoptions, and I had been writing those things down as they occurred during The Week Between.  As I posted the daily feel-good stories last week, I so very much enjoyed your comments.  It truly helped with what I was going through.  When Monday after New Year’s Day came, decisions about Daphne had already been made.  But there was so much good news to report that I decided not to interject my heartache about her into the week of good news.  I knew I would get my chance to share with you and to memorialize sweet, sweet Daphne.  That day is today.

From the very beginning, Daphne’s life was a struggle.  She was young when Older Daughter snatched her and Tulip.  They were eating chicken bones at a dumpster.  Daphne had a severe bite wound along with other problems.  Eventually we tested to see if she might be FIV+.  She was.  She was also blind in one eye.  A walking bag of bones with multiple infections.  We treated all of her various problems and her new life began.

When we discovered that she was FIV+, many of you tried to help us find the perfect home for Daphne.  We didn’t want her to live in a cage, but had fears about her living freely in the cathouse with so many other kitties.  I kept working on getting her into a home.  People started sending information about special rescues around the country that took FIV+ cats.  I contacted a couple of them, but never received a response.  At the time, I was somewhat disappointed.  Looking back, it was exactly as it was supposed to be.

Daphne had only a limited amount of time here.  I now realize that with so little time left, she didn’t need to spend that time adjusting to new people and surroundings.  Her love for me was intense.  We had made the decision that when the girls moved out with their kitties, Daphne would be incorporated into my house and family of kitties.  That wasn’t to be.  But Daphne was never supposed to be anywhere else than right here.  I’ve told you how her FAVORITE thing to do was to ride koala bear style, nuzzled against my stomach and chest as I moved around doing things.  It brought back memories of the days of having babies.  You learn to do everything one-handed.  Daphne’s ear infection moved her to a cage in my kennel office so that I could treat the ear twice a day and keep an eye on her.  She did a lot of sitting in my lap as I worked at my desk in the kennel.  She spent “kennel Christmas card day” with Younger Daughter and me.  When she was diagnosed with the tumor, I started spending as much time as I could spare just holding her.


Over the New Year’s weekend, Daphne stopped being able to eat and drink.  I knew the Monday After would have to be the day.  I spent long periods that weekend holding Daphne and talking to her.  The tumor had pushed her left eye completely closed, and she could no longer breathe out of the left side of her nose.  It finally encroached on her esophagus and took away her ability to eat and drink.  I told her how very sorry I was that life hadn’t been very good to her.  I thought about how she had at least known love.  I loved her deeply.  I wish it could have been for a longer period of time.

Last Monday, a week ago today, Younger Daughter drove me to the vet so that I could hold Daphne in her favorite position all the way there.  I told Younger Daughter that I wanted to give that gift to Daphne - for her to be held koala bear style for the half-hour trip.  When Daphne and I got into the examining room, I told Dr. A that I wanted to continue to hold Daphne exactly like she was, and I explained why.  Dr. A gave her the injection that caused her to become drowsy and go to sleep.  She fell asleep against me without ever having to move.  Dr. A left me alone for a few minutes.  I whispered in Daphne’s ear that I loved her dearly. 

I wish Daphne could have had a better life.  But I will have to accept that at least she got to know love - which is more than she had when she was straying in the alleys, fighting for a chicken bone she might find in a dumpster.  Daphne, you were deeply loved.

                                                    Sunset on the evening Daphne left me.

                                                                                   Farewell.

Comments

[Jan (Milo and Alfie's mom)]

Chrystal, I'm so very sorry. Yet also full of joy that Daphne DID know love and comfort towards the end of her life. You are were so right ... she was meant to stay with you. I too wish her life could have been longer, and better at the start ... but she did have the most loving of ends. And for that I am truly grateful.
Thank you Chrystal. RIP sweet Daphne. xxxxxxxxxxx

[Kate]

I am so sorry, Chrystal.

[Fuzzy Tales]

Poor Daphne.

(((Hugs))) and purrs to you, and universal Blessings for loving her so dearly.

[Eric and Flynn]

We are so sorry for your loss, but glad that Daphne knew the true meaning of love towards the end of her life.

[Teri and the cats of Curlz and Swirlz]

As you said...this was meant to be and Daphne surely knew love these months and that is a gift, keep those memories close to your heart.

[Random Felines]

We are all so very sorry. Mom said she felt a connection to Daphne - even without meeting her. Hopefully her legacy can be that she lived a MUCH better life with all of you - and maybe helped educate some other about FIV. No matter how much time she had, it was SO much better for having been found by you all.

[Cat's Cats]

Sweet Daphne! Yes she was meant to be with you and to feel your strong love. I cried through the whole post wishing she had more time too but I think her passing was as gentle as it possibly could have been in your koala embrace.

Ps- received your email and sent a response, hope it reached you

[The Poupounette Gang]

Sweet Daphne received the gift of absolute love from you and she left for the Bridge in your arms. That is the most beautiful gift there is.

[Ginny & the Fur Family]

Dear Daphne - fare well - you will be forever loved even over the bridge - with tears in my eyes I want to say that Chrystal knew the right time and handled this with love and grace fitting to Daphne - exactly the right way - with Daphne feeling love like she was just going to sleep on her mama stomach - she will now be free from all pain - no more fighting for chicken bones -at peace in a field of flowers and clover napping in the eternal sunshine with the God of furry ones - Ginny & The Fur Family

[Madeline]

I AM SO, SO SORRY SHE WAS MEANT TO BE WITH YOU AND TO KNOW SO MUCH LOVE.
THE ALTERNATIVE FOR HER IF SHE HAD NOT BEEN FOUND BY YOUR DAUGHTER WOULD HAVE BEEN SO HORRIBLE.
THEY SAY THERE ARE ANGELS HERE ON EARTH AND I KNOW THIS BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY HAVE ALREADY EARNED YOUR WINGS MANY TIMES OVER.
GOOD BYE PRECIOUS SWEET DAPHNE.

[Abby]

Oh dear Chyrstal
My message was put on another posting, my iPad is giving me fits!

My heart is aching for you and dear sweet Daphne.
Keeping you in my prayers.
Love & purrs
Abby & Mom Debra

[LP]

That was a lovely and moving tribute to Daphne, Chrystal.I'm so glad she was in your arms in the end and not frightened, alone in a back alley.Life can be cruel for some and there is no denying that but she found momentary respite from the hard world she knew , in your arms.Thankfully.
Rest in peace sweet baby.You were loved.
We send you heartfelt hugs Chrystal.
Sophie and the critters XOXO

[Mindy Slimmer]

Hi Chrystal! What a lovely ending for such a lovely kitty...to be held by her mama in such a loving way and be helped to the bridge where she can experience no more pain. Daphne is in our hearts always and I hope that she touches many others to adopt FIV+ kitties.
Much Love,
Mindy :)

[Andrea and the Celestial Kitties]

Oh Chrystal, my heart is breaking all over again. I'm so glad you got to hold her in her favorite position right to the end. If she had to go, that's the most loving way to do it.
You amaze me, even in the worst of times you know each individual kitty so well that you know how to make them most comfortable and happy. No doubt Daphne was ready, and I can almost hear her purr as she cuddled her way to the bridge.

[Marg]

Oh Chrystal we are so sorry. You sure did your very best to help Daphne and she is so lucky to have known your love. She did have a rough time but at least she had you at the end. We are sending lots of purrs and some hugs too. Take care.

[The Island Cats]

I am so sorry to hear about Daphne. But the one thing that made it bearable is the fact that she left this world knowing what love is. Thank you for giving her that.

Sue
Island Cats' mom

[Lana]

I gotta stop reading your posts at work. I'm a weepy mess now. Thank you so much for loving her like you do. Every cat should be so blessed.

~L

[Webbthistle]

Thank you for loving Daphne, and guiding her path in this life and into the next. The cards were stacked against her...but your love gave her the comfort, security and happiness she carried with her to the Bridge. So very sorry your time together was so short!

[Sweet Purrfections]

Goodbye sweet Daphne. Our thoughts are with Mom Chrystal.

[Kerry]

I'm so sorry to hear about Daphne's passing, but she was blessed to have you watching out for and over her. Godspeed, sweet angel.

[momsbusy]

even though her life started rough and was short, daphne was more fortunate than many kitties that never get a chance at having a loving home. your love was something, i feel sure, she treasured. it was very caring for your vet to allow you to hold her in her favorite position. sending comforting prayers and healing purrs.

[Tillie & Georgia]

We are so sorry to hear about Daphnne. She was a beautiful kitty.Her happy life began the day you rescued her and we believe she was happy till the end.
She was lucky you were there for her.We know you miss her, so we send you comforting purrs.

Purrs Tillie and Georgia,
Tiger,Treasure and JJ

[MelanieJ]

I'm sorry for Daphne's passing. Like everyone else has said, I find it comforting that you were with her in her final days so that she knew love. I know that this must be bittersweet for you, and I grieve with you.

[Lee County Clowder]

Farewell, Daphne. We are so sorry.

[Bellen]

Poor Daphne. She didn't have much time but what she had left, she was able to spend with you and your family. That's a lot to be thankful for, considering she may have died in pain, fear and loneliness. She passed away in a loving home, and that is a wonderful gift.